Monday, February 06, 2006

Fish may safely drink

The publishing event of the century is imminent. Zombies are being despatched to the capitals of the world to seize control of bookshops and government buildings. Do not adjust your sets. We will control the vertical, we will control the horizontal. Resistance is futile. You will read "Fish Drink Like Us", the most shagnificent volume of fiction since the Bible.

And when you are satiated beyond pleasure nearly to death, you will still crave more. And ye (yes ye) shall have more, even to the zenith of ecstasy with such a superfluity of indescribably exquisite poetry that it defies this spatchcock system of wordles entirely, and demands a tome of its own, and it shall have a tome of its own, an thology of poetriloquism. Hear ye, hear ye! Hear ye?

Friday, October 28, 2005

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Raymond Williams Prize 2005 shared by pG Author

LONDON Thursday October 13th: Arts Council England presented the £3,000 ($5,000) Raymond Williams Prize 2005 to the publishers of The Monkey's Typewriter (isbn 0953019551), an anthology that closes with a story by Stephen Moran.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Laila Lailami in Seattle

MoorishGirl: Reading: Seattle

"The second stop on my book tour for Hope and Other Dangerous Pursuits will be tonight, in beautiful Seattle. Here are the details:

Laila Lalami
Tuesday the 11th
7:30PM
Elliott Bay Book Co."

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

huh? whoa! where am i?

hello? apparently we're big in dublin. deaddrunkdublin.com

leave me alone. i'm going back to sleep.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Details emerge from last week's murder of Norman Mailer

Internal documents obtained by Hysterical Porpoise suggest the killing of Norman Mailer was one of a number of options discussed by company executives in response to a diminishing bottom line. (More)

Friday, April 29, 2005

Norman Mailer's killer implicates pretendGenius Press




PORTLAND Ore.-- The man accused of killing Norman Mailer shouted to a crowded courtroom that he "(killed) him as a publicity stunt" for the book publishing company, pretendGenius Press. He also yelled "I am Matt Drudge". The self-admitted assassin, Chi Chi, a native Patagonian now of New York City, has served on pGp's board of directors since its founding in 2003. The prisoner was immediately hushed by his council and admonished by the judge. District Court Judge Thornton Meeler remanded Mr. Chi to psychiatric evaluation without a plea being entered.

In a statement read by PretendGenius Press Books Division spokesperson, Nathanial Lantz, pGp denied that any persons in its organization had prior knowlege of the gruesome execution of the famed literary figure. The statement reads in part "During the past several months we have been watching helplessly while Chi Chi has become increasingly erratic. The last few weeks his behavior had reached the dangerously unpredictable. We, as an organization, and as humanbeings, have taken great pains to encourage our former friend to seek help. [Let me be clear about this] In no way did pretendGenius have prior knowlege of, authorize, approve, or give express written permission to kill Norman Mailer."

The Dissociated Press has learned that on at least two occasions Mr. Chi documented his desire to kill Mr. Mailer. We have obtained an internal pGp memo dated April 20 and signed by Chi Chi that covers some particulars of the upcoming book festival and then states "On Sunday pretendGenius Press will kill Norman Mailer..." On a public bulletin board on April 21 he is attributed to have scribed "i will have a good time... right up to the point they arrest me for the useful and timely death of norman mailer". Phone calls to pGp have remained unanswered at the time this story went to press.

Eye witness accounts describe an agitated man, who, was asked on at least two occasions to remove his hat, possibly a fedora, but indignantly refused, was seated in the first row of the auditoreum at Portland's Keller Hall last Saturday where a near sellout crowd had gathered to hear Mr. Mailer. The suspect, apparently drunk, grew increasingly boorish as the evening drew on. The first speaker was Yuvi Zalkow of South East Portland who had placed first in a writing challenge sponsored by the Wordstock Book Event. While reading a selection from his winning entry the unfortunate Mr. Zalkow was heckled by the suspect. Receiving laughter from some in attendence appears to have emboldened the fedora wearing man and his catcalls became increasingly belligerant and obscure. Many of the witnesses have confirmed the phrase "I wrote bunnies" was strangely repeated.

The man was warned by security personnel that any further outbursts would cause him to be removed and he slumped into his chair until some forty five minutes later when Mr. Mailer had been speaking for twenty minutes he leaped onto the stage with a chair in his hands and used it to repeatedly beat the writer about the head and trunk. The horrified audience sat stunned and it was some moments before one unidentified woman wearing a white dress bravely crawled onto the proscenium to grasp the assassin around the ankle. At this moment the room went dark.

The electrical outage, apparently caused by a utility truck striking a power pole some blocks away, was unrelated to the murder. But one witness, Randy Quaard of Salem, described the scene as surreal, A murmer in the crowd indicated that most people weren't sure if what they had witnessed was real or theater. Some in the audience chanted for the lights to be turned on. The suspect apparently took advantage of this distraction to secrete Mr. Mailer away on the victim's own wheelchair through a rear exit and escape.

Police say he drove his car to the Rose Quarter Convention Center gaining entrance through an unlocked door on the loading dock and took the body to the display table pretendGenius Press had rented for the Book Festival. He posed the deceased body into various positions at this table and began taking photographs. The police report states he was able to take more than one hundred photos with a digital camera before they found him at this location approximately an hour after the murder. Mr Chi was reportedely crying but was arrested without incident.

Norman Kingsley Mailer was born January 31, 1923. It is open to argument whether Mr. Mailer was one of the major novelists of his generation, but he was certainly one of the greatest writers and was arguably the most singular literary figure of his generation.

Mr. Mailer, who was described by most to have appeared frail but forceful and, indeed, "in rare form", was heard to cry out even as the first blow fell, "Adele", a possible reference to the second wife he once famously stabbed with a penknife; though some report he cried "Adieu". Adele or adieu, these were the last words he is known to have spoken.

Reporter: Crystal Clear. Photograph: Amy Hayer