Breaking News

Something is happening over at JTylerblue.com.

Tom Drinkwater

PretendGeniusPress to steal the show and anything else laying around...

PretendGeniusPress will be one of the main players at the annual Small Press Book Fair held in the Washington D.C. area. Rumor has it that Sean Brijbasi, J. Tyler Blue, Josh Davis, and the Stereocean dancing girls (appropriately dressed) will be there in full force representing PretendGeniusPress on April 24th. The Obliterati will have embedders to bring you the full story with pictures and without.

Mergon Droodle

Everything must go

Only three two one none of the 25 hand-numbered and signed copies remain of the first edition of The London Silence. This is a special offer for pre-orders; delivery will not be for about two months.*

You'll travel many miles before you will ever get a chance to acquire such a rarie again, so don't let it slip. It's a long way to slip a rarie.

Julia Melloncamp

*You can still order signed un-numbered copies of the first edition (75 still available.) The second edition will follow immediately.

Letter from a Genuine Reader

Dear obLiterati

I wish to complain on behalf of concerned parents about the hidden messages embedded in your audio page. I have discovered that when different combinations of the first three items are emplayified simultaneously, they reveal messages to cult members to go out and massacre cartoon characters. I would like to offer my patented aluminium foil hood with premium-guage Perspex™ eyepieces for protection from evil influences through computer screens, if you would kindly allow me to advertise here.

(Note to Editor: please do not print my address.)

GalacticSlayer, 1204 Jalopy Flats, Parsipanny, N.J.

Review of a Review

This guy certainly knows his onions. He's been around the block a few times too, on a motorbike I wouldn't be surprised. Here, see for yourself: The Compulsive Reader review of Still Life in Motion.

Fergus Singh DeBleuys

Special Report

Barnaby Rutthlebone here, reporting live from nightclub 2Zoos. The commotion is very commotive here as I stand before a thong of women clamoring for...well I can't make out who it is. I can barely hear above the wild shriek-like sounds emanating from perfectly perky lips but I believe the DJ is making an announcement. My sources did tell me that J. Tyler Blue was making an appearance tonight and I fully expect him to appear from the giant cake in the middle of the dance floor. Wait, something's happening. The women are going crazy now. Completely berserk. I can't see. I can't verify if it is indeed J. Tyler Blue coming out of the cake. I've made my way to the front of the crowd now. Oh my! It's J. Tylue Blue and Bloog Mandrake. The thong of women here are chanting Blueg Blueg Blueg. It's pandemonium.

filed by
Barnaby Rutthlebone
Feelancer

Cerebralty Sightings

They walk by night, the undead pGpr authors with their hellhounds.

Letters

Dear pGpr,

you don't have many girl on your roster.

A Genuine Reader
Busted Flats, Baton Rouge

Children! not in front of the customers...

Smedley

Bob, there is no need for negativity. So piss off.

Valerie Kleber

This is a message. It has my name at the bottom. You ought to try it.

Bob Preston

Conspiracy Against PretendGeniusPress?

As was reported before this journal's existence, there has been strong evidence of a conspiracy against PretendGeniusPress. From the blowing up of their facilities in the Faeroe Islands that housed most of their pseudonyms to the recent compromising (but unsubstantiated) reports that they edit their work. And now this from Poets and Writers Magazine. A typo and a misplacement. As you'll see in documents obtained by The Obliterati the word 'genius' is spelled 'genuis' by Poets and Writers Magazine. Surely a slap in the face to these fearless publishers and an indication that PretendGeniusPress is shaking up the publishing world. Not to mention the neutering of deftly crafted copy by one of PretendGeniusPress' sublimest minds. Poets and Writers? Where?

This reporter for one would like to call on all poets and writers to write to their congressperson or worthless government official and demand an investigation. This outrage must not stand.

Here: PretendGeniusPress in Poets and Writers

Mergon Droodle
Embedder in Training

Ms Houllebecqder, we have confirmed that Ms. Carter was riding Stephen's back like a little monkey at one of the Oscar parties. As a highly professional and dedicated actress, Ms. Carter was simply staying in character for the upcoming Planet of the Apes sequel "Love Monkey". Good sport that Stephen. And yes, your other roommate Ms. Sturmey-Archer did see Bryan E there as well. Not playing drinking games mind you, but trying to sell movie rights to his upcoming book. We're not sure if there were any takers, but we hear that he did get laid by one of the nominees for 'Best Extra in a Documentary Featuring Full Frontal Nudity'. Good show Bryan.

Ortwright Gerder
Obliterati Correspondent

Please settle a bet for us. My roommate swears that she saw Stephen Moran with Nicole Kidman in a shot of one of those after-Oscar parties last night. I have bet her a pack of thongs that she is wrong. I'm pretty sure I saw Stephen pass by on the red carpet with Helena Bonham Carter riding on his back, and goading him on with a riding crop and silver spurs. (Ooh, I don't know now! I think I might have dreamed that bit.) Our other roommate, Crystal-Melanie Sturmey-Archer thinks she recognised Bryan E in the background having a raucous time with other frat-packers playing a drinking game with tequila slammers or something (I don't know what she's talking about.) Anyway I'm like, shut up beatch, nobody's ever seen Bryan E, and she's like that's where you're wrong, because she went to his room after a book signing. So please pGpr, tell us who was at the Oscars from your authors.

Wendy May Houllebecqder

If I order a signed copy of Josh's book can I request that it be dedicated to Heavenly Hirani Fifi Trixibelle please? (It's not for me.)

Chip Larson

Do any of the autters ever come here? Maybe you can give me some writhing advisory? How do I go around getting publicated? Is this a patriotic straight up and down place too, with no European perverts and such? I just thot I'd check. There was a sackrolagious poem on one of these sites last week by Jackues Pervert, according to the K. K. Kronikal.

Don Key

Hello, I am The Great Suspendo.

This looks like a cool place to hang.

The Great Suspendo